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Friday, June 03, 2011

POP Quiz: What is your love language??

Its no secret that we are all different BUT what I love about our differences is that they have the potential to circle around and lead us to similarities.  We may speak different languages but we all need to be loved.  I once heard someone say every man will experience what it is like to be two things: hungry and horny. If truer words were ever spoken, please share them with me.

So what does all of this have to do with the price of Magnum ice cream in Tobago? Nothing but I wanted to share it. Now, where was I? Oh yea, looove languages. What is a love language you ask? Your love language is the primary way you express AND interpret love (yes, it is a two-way street). Regardless of how you define love, we all appreciate it when we experience reciprocated love.
Why is determining your love language important? Love languages are important because they are the key to making sure your loved ones feel loved. Discovering, understanding and learning how to communicate your love language can lead to better relationships with your family and your spouse.
Marriage Counselor, turned New York Times best seller Dr. Gary Chapman says everyone has a love language, and we all identify primarily with one of the five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.

How do you know when you're in love with someone?
How do you make sure they trust you when you say you love them?
After someone tells you they love you, do you believe them?
For some, hearing "I love you" is enough but for most, we couple the words with your actions.

You may snark at the concept but love languages can be tricky because no two types of love are the same. You may express your love for God differently from the way you show your spouse you love them. Some of you are multi-lingual. That is, you speak a different love language with your children than you do with your friends.

Failure to communicate your language and to understand the language of your mate can have dire consequences on your mate. Consider this: HER love language is physical touch while HIS love language is receiving gifts. This means, she shows her love by providing affectionate hugs & passionate kisses while he measures love based on the material things he receives from her. Since love languages are a two way street, she also unconsciously measures his love for her based on his physical touch and he measures her love for him based upon the material things he receives from her.  Eventually, the two will encounter a language barrier. He REALLY loves her so he buys  her everything she has ever hinted to desiring, BUT he isn't big on hugs,  kisses or PDA. She REALLY loves him so she smothers showers him with sweet hugs and juicy kisses BUT she since didn't get him that PS3 he's been dropping hints about all year NONE OF THAT MATTERS. The result? She doesn't think he loves her and he doesnt think she loves him. They both start to question their union and a rift the size of the grand canyon drives the two apart.

While her hugs are nice, they are not enough for a mate who wants something with a price tag attached to it. The gap in communication and the "language barrier" can lead to both of you feeling incomplete and unappreciated. How can you fix this? You can start by finding out what love language you speak.

To find out your love language, take this quiz.  Dont forget to share your results.

What love language do YOU speak? I'm listening...

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