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Wednesday, June 08, 2011

Wading in Shallow Waters: 5 Rules for Dating Pretty Women

 
People who date pretty women have a hard life. Don't be so quick to envy them, its not all bikinis and photo shoots. They are forced to look at an effortlessly beautiful face and laugh at dry humor on a regular basis. The world's smallest violin plays a sad song for them 24/7.

Caveat: While I believe every woman is beautiful in her own way, this post is about the women OTHER people think are beautiful too. I love all of you, but I think "pretty" women are a different breed and people need to recognize that. If you do not believe this post is about you, read it before you dismiss it. YES I know Julia Roberts played a prostitute in the movie "Pretty Woman." I am not saying men should date women like Julia Roberts' character I just found the photo and I enjoyed the movie. I didn't want to use the usual photo of Halle Berry or Tyra Banks to symbolize beauty.  Additionally, I didn't want you to focus so much on determining whether the person featured was actually "pretty." Yada Yada. Don't be pompous.

While all women can be difficult to deal with, Pretty Women are a special challenge. There should be a support group for men who date them. Until such time as the support group is formed, I am here to lend a helping hand. Alas, here are 5 rules every person must follow to ensure a successful courtship with a woman who is easy on the eyes. You can thank me now.

1. Don't be Jealous. When the two of you go out together, people will stare at her and completely ignore you. Accept that there will be moments where you take her out and people will wonder WHY she chose you. Lets be honest, sometimes you wonder the same thing and you still don't know! This means you never get to look less than your best. She is beautiful no matter what she wears or how she wears it. Accept it. Embrace it. You better take a page from Nick Cannon's book and bring your "A" game even when you're doing something simple like grocery shopping. Don't be the loser who runs her away because she is getting more looks than you in the mall. Don't be a loser and ask her to send back free drinks either. Thats $10 you don't have to spend! You better smarten up.

2. Never Stop Telling Her She is Beautiful. Do you know what beautiful women like? To receive unwarranted compliments. People assume pretty women hear compliments all the time and the truth is we DON'T. Did I say we? Heck yea I said we. You better believe I think I'm pretty and you should think the same of yourself. Since people assume we walk around with our noses in the air, they don't bother complimenting us as much. Why else do you think so many beautiful women hang their heads while drowning in a pool of low self esteem?? She doesn't hear people tell her she is beautiful often enough and when they DO tell her, she doesn't believe them. While I do not believe you are responsible for her self-esteem, it is your responsibility to make her continue feel beautiful. Don't believe the hype, we all have our rough days where we feel bloated and ugly. If you can't make her feel beautiful, another man (or woman) will. For best results, wait until she is having a grungy day pull her close to you and tell her you genuinely think she looks beautiful.
One last thing, before you become totally smitten with her, meet her mother. Understand the person you are dealing with is a BRANCH and you need to meet the TREE. You need to see what she will look like in 20 or 30 years so meet her mom and grandmom. Beauty is skin deep and some people don't age well. Just sayin...
3. Find out What Impresses her. This also means you have to find out what you have that is impressive to women. She will be approached by people with more money than you, a better car than you, a better education than you have and a bigger c*ck than you could ever dream of having. Guess what? There is a good chance she is NOT impressed by those things. She might even be turned off by peacock-like displays of material possessions. It is your job to figure out what impresses her and do that. If she does not care about what kind of car you drive as long as it doesnt make loud noises or emit smoke then you're going to have to find a new angle. This means you will have to improve your impressive-ness. If you thought telling her that you're a doctor would impress her but she responds with "Me too" you need a new angle.

4. Trust her. She will be approached by hundreds, if not thousands, of men. Trust her and believe just because she is constantly approached does not mean she is going to leave you for someone she thinks is better than you. "Don't leave the one you love for the one you like" right? Trust that if she has committed to dating you that she will honor her commitment. You should also trust if she realizes she can do better, she will. Men will flirt with her and she will flirt back but that does not always mean she is being unfaithful. It means she likes flirting. Chicks with big butts and smiles are dangerous but that doesn't mean they don't deserve a chance to earn your trust. Ok that was totally contradictory. Give her the opportunity to earn your trust and don't stop trusting her until she gives you a reason to.

5. Recognize her OTHER assets. Don't spend ALL of your time dwelling on her looks. Pretty girls hate it when people cannot look past their looks to appreciate other great things about them. Women are complex. I recognize that there are pretty women who use their beauty to get ahead, I am not talking about them. All pretty chicks are not smart and all smart chicks are not pretty. The stereotype about beautiful women with peanuts where their brains should be is true for some women. If you are lucky enough to get someone who has more going for her than her looks, you're winning! Run your victory lap. Pass go. Collect $200. If you see more in her than a bigg butt and a smile pretty face you are a smart person. It helps if you resist assuming that her looks are ALL she has going for herself. We could tutor you in differential equations, business law and Russian 3. You can follow #2 without making it all about her looks. If she can be President of #teambrainsandbeauty, recognize that. If she also has an adventurous side, be the smart man I know you are and take her on an adventure.

For all the pretty women out there do you think I missed anything? For the men-folk what are some things you have learned about dating pretty women? Do you think I have lost my damned mind? Wondering if I'm serious?

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4 comments:

Publius Valorum said...

That's why dudes should just date fat chicks. They have ridiculously large egos, can throw down in the kitchen, and their entire body feels like a boob. #plussizedwinning

But seriously, dating "pretty women" isn't any harder than being a considerate man dating any women. All of your tips listed above ought to be applied to anyone you deign to spend significant amounts of time with.

Remember bruhs: If she's worth multiple trips to the woodshed to get chopped down, then she's worth the effort to keep her feeling like she's more than a jumpoff. Unless of course she is the jumpoff then. . .

Rickeysha G said...

@Publius Valorum

What you're implying is that fat chicks can't be pretty too...Mo'nique would have your head! How dare you imply men should settle for a fat chick and leave all the pretty women lonely and unmarried!

But seriously, dating "pretty women" isn't any harder than being a considerate man dating any women.

If I agreed with you I wouldn't have written this post. O_O. Dating any WHOLESOME woman is difficult but when you add the fact that she is also constantly pursued by other men (with more going for them than you do) it makes the situation a bit more burdensome.

Black Man said...

Great article. Too many men settle because "it's easier to trust an ugly chick" direct quote from my idiot friend. As a heterosexual man with a degree, job, no kids, and absence of a criminal record, I lack the insecurities many men have when dating a woman. As long as you're doing what you did to get her, there's no need for her to veer left. Dating pretty women isn't rocket science lol. Cook for her, listen to her, open her doors, giver her the ill D. Those are the rules.

Rickeysha said...

LMFAO @ "give her the ill D." I wrote this because some men were starting to act like they don't know how to act around an attractive woman. We're (yes, I think I'm attractive) humans just like everyone else, but you can't be insecure. We want to feel appreciated and telling us we're beautiful works too. Thanks for reading!

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