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Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Hoes. Are they **REALLY** winning?

One of the people in this photo is a hoe. 
A little late? Maybe.
Is that gonna stop me? Apparently not.

Disclaimer: I recognize that a woman writing about hoes and such has certain consequences. I wish I could tell you I'm one of those people who doesn't believe in calling women hoes. Wish not granted. My experiences with so many different types of women, including those who readily and happily identify themselves as hoes, won't allow me to do that. The way I see it (and you don't have to see it that way) if a woman has adopted the title for herself, who am I to change her mind? Who are you to get upset when she's ok with it? You gotta live & let people live, B. Ladies, don't get mad.

Based on the loaded title, you probably think my answer is no. But, alas, young grasshopper you are wrong. The answer is yes, BUT temporarily.
A temporary win, is still a win.

From the always infamous Kim Kardashian (I hate that name & face) to the deported Katt Stacks to Amber Rose, LisaRaye McCoy, Kimora Lee Simmons and Vanessa Bryant, women are proving everyday that it pays to be on the hoe team. Whats the opposite of the hoe team? Apparently its not the WIFE team because KK, Kimora, LisaRaye & Vanessa have all been married but they still have the hoe brand firmly etched into their souls.
 Once a hoe, always a hoe. 

But wait! Does this mean only hoes are getting married? Doesn’t that go against the “can’t turn a hoe into a housewife” thingamajig quote? Then again, doesn’t  the “everybody deserves a second chance” mantra belong in that discussion too? But wait again! What about the hoes who keep hoeing even after they get married?

My head is spinning.
Where was I?
Ahhh yes! Hoes Be Winning.
Where did the phrase come from? Your guess is as good as mine. I imagine it sprouted from Charlie Sheen's now infamous interview where he said winning way too many times.
2012: The year of "Hoes Be Winning."
Your position on whether hoes actually “BE winning” largely depends upon your definition of winning, standards and self-esteem. To some, winning means a condo on South Beach and a lifetime supply of protein. To others, winning means paying off student loan debts (GLORY!). Still, to others winning means living a flashy lifestyle complete with Facebook and twitpics for proof of his/her “winning” and shit. Some women are winning just by being in a monogamous relationship. Love & Hip Hop's Chrissy proposed to her live-in boyfriend of 7 years and jumped through hoops before he finally proposed to her. She's winning-let her tell it. Ideally, a hoes definition of winning is different from that of a lawyer, or doctor, or dentist's definition of winning. Then again, thats assuming those people aren't also hoes. Now, what does that have to do with the price of Trojans in Tokyo?

You is smart.

A popular misconception about hoes is that they ALL be winning. The devil is a lie. Not all hoes "be winning" the same way not all actresses be acting. I'm lookin at you, Stacey Dash. Some hoes do the opposite of winning over and over again. Now, this may be due to several reasons up to and including being a "new" hoe, an untrained hoe, a misinformed hoe, a confused hoe and my favorite a sloppy hoe. There are thousands of hoes who ended up pregnant by a rapper who never made it out of the hood or an athlete who sustained a career-ending injury before he played his first game. Even hoes who get that coveted temporary win still struggle with the psychological effects of being a "hoe." How many ass beads did you play with before you got that BMW? How many kids did you swallow before you got that condo on south beach? They don't want your sympathy tho.

Here is what I know for sure: "Hoes Be Winning" has penetrated the vernacular of social media users, bloggers and hip-hop heads everywhere. HBW is a fantastic phrase that incorporates everything the masses feels after a woman with a reputation for being unchaste “wins.” It was uttered when Amber Rose & Whiz Khalifa announced their engagement, when news broke of Chad OchoCinco (Johnson) & fianc√© Evelyn's $300k payday for their reality show and its uttered every time a “baller” announces his engagement or decision to procreate with said type of woman. 

Considering the incredible amount of women considered hoes, it makes me wonder how people decide what makes a woman a hoe. This is the full extent of my wondering: 1) Is it the number of sexual partners she entertains in a given week? 2) Is it the reasons she has sex? 3) Is it the things she "profits" using her body? Thats all I can allow myself to wonder. Despite the popularity of the term, it appears people don't have a solid definition of what a hoe is anymore. You may think a hoe is a woman who gets ahead in life by "using what they got to get what they want" or any other justification used by Ronnie, Trix & Diamond from The Player's Club. I don't care enough to explore that.

Hoes have had songs written about them, t-shirts sold in their honor and, thanks in part to the former Mrs. O'neal, are now landing starring roles (and fat checks) on reality shows.

 A vital part of being a hoe is that you have to be a responsible and accountable hoe, or so I've heard. If you're going to be a hoe, you have to accept everything (respect & disrespect) that comes with the territory. You have to be a smart hoe by recognizing your reign of prosperity WILL be short lived. Good hoes have an entrepreneurial spirit, that is they understand that their success is directly related to their own efforts. They must be innovative, competitive, flexible (pun!) and determined.

The intriguing part of the hoe "line of work" is that how good you are doesn't mean much. This means natural talents, good looks, low standards and willingness to travel for work mean nothing. 

Take a deeper look. Even the good hoes win only for as long as Charlie Sheen did after his interview. Some may argue Uncle Charlie is still winning. Those people don't know a win when they see one, don't follow them. Hoes are good for leaving us with a few notable quotables but their relevance isn't everlasting. Then again, thats part of what makes hoes so much fun! Hoes are like the Bugatti-they come in handy if you're looking for a reason to spend money and do something crazy, but are not intended for daily use. 

Put a pin in that one.

I’m not taking sides here, but I think hoes deserve a little slack. They are merely providing a service to a market in high demand for their existence, are they not? They have a bad name for doing something they believe the almighty ordained them to do. Why else would they have those special talents? Certainly you can’t expect them to do their swag surf trick in the church talent show. Or can you? Perhaps more souls would be saved if folks knew they could finally get their communion and cunnilingus in the same place.

What say you folks? Do hoes be winning? Do you know any hoes? Are they winning?

Talk to me...

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1


Anonymous said...

Great post. Its missing one thing: Male hoes (not to be confused with man whores) be winning too. Think about that.

Rickeysha G said...


Agreed! Men can be just as bad as women. While we're on the subject of things I missed, I should also point out that I can't confirm whether any of the women mentioned in the post are ACTUALLY hoes but the list is based upon popular opinion.

Trib said...

Whose turn will it be in 2013?

Rickeysha said...

I'm gonna put my Monopoly money on chicks with low self-esteem. They will do "whateva."

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