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Thursday, June 28, 2012

Mr "Come Over and Chill" and other Ninjas Selling Pipe Dreams

Ninjas are out here selling dreams. 
They ain't selling reg'la dreams doe. They outchea selling pipe dreams. Fanciful hopes and schemes game proper. 

Oh yea, they be schemin. 

The more I think their selling tactics are outdated bullsh*t, the more I see women falling for it. Why do we do this ladies? The game hasn't changed. The game won't change. The only thing that has changed is what women demand from men. Women are still outchea letting men sell em pipe dreams and wondering why they can't get a man to commit. Who are these men? I'm so glad you asked! 


Mr. "Come Over & Chill." His response to you asking to see him is always "come over and chill." He's the guy who never wants to take you out.  Ya'll have never gone on a date and at this rate, you never will. You keep asking him to take you out and he keeps carrying on like you never said a word. He aint lazy, he's just lazy with you because you let him. All he didn't was come over and chill twice before he smashed. Now, you want effort. Now, you want him to court you. Hustling backwards #likeamug. He won't put in any real effort because he doesn't think he needs to. He knows your type and he's planned to exploit your weakness. He sees how much you want companionship a relationship and he sees how you're not asking much of him. NC-17 of Black Girls are Easy said this...

"...men figured out a long time ago that a woman who’s thirsty for love is worse than a guy who’s thirsty for pussy. No matter how loud you complain about not going out, never spending real time, or feeling unappreciated, if you like him enough you will continue to talk to this kind of man."

That just about sums it up. Peep the rest of the article on Black Girls are Easy.

The Exceptions: He's put actual effort into the "coming over" part like making you a nice dinner. He's told you he's serious about getting to know you. Also, if you have already gone on several dates its ok to take it easy in the comfort of your own home.  If you want a relationship and not just a companion, your best bet is to start off acting like it. 


Mr. Let's Just Watch a Movie. He's a first cousin to the come over and chill guy. In fact, they are more like brothers who were raised in the same household. Mr. LJWM uses the movie as bait to get himself into the game. While you're trying to figure out how to spend time together he suggests "Why don't I just come over to your crib and watch a movie?" He knows the hardest part is getting you to let him come over so once you say yes its ON. All bets are off and he assumes you know what he really meant by "watch a movie." If he wants you to think he respects you, he will at least get through the previews before he makes a move. Don't worry, he will pretend he buys your act that you're surprised he "tried" you.

The Exceptions: If you have gone on a few dates, its ok to take it easy and just watch a movie. You have to let him earn cheap dates. Going out to the movies is a cheap date, renting a movie from redbox and buying popcorn at Target is an even cheaper date. Once you start out accepting cheaper dates you'll be one of those women lookin forward to Valentines Day at Red Lobster. Make sure you make your expectations clear and hold him to them.  


Mr. Let me Just Put the Head In. Yes, I really just said that. Oh, its not dark yet? Is  it too early? Chill. We're all adults. If you can't handle a little midday peen imagery its time for you to grow up asaptually. We all know this ninja still exists. He can appear in the form of a f*ck buddy, boyfriend or husband. He usually shows up after you've told him you don't feel like gettin freaky. He doesn't care, he's horny. He'll tell you he won't go all the way, he just wants to slide the tip in for a second. He is the godfather of pipe dream salesman. He's won awards for the pipe dreams he's sold. He sells you a sample and gives you the whole schlong. Incredible. 

The Exception: You can go for it if you want to. Don't try to act like you're conservative when you're not. Don't act like you didn't go see him lookin to get poked and stroked. If you came for the licky licky sticky sticky, get whats yours boo. 

My goal here is not to make ladies feel like crap. I'm all about uplifting and loving everyone. This whole post was my way of encouraging women to demand more from the men in your life. Don't be so afraid of being single that you accept 20% of a man's effort just because he's physically present. If he hasn't decided you're worth the effort you think you deserve, he's not the man for you. Alls I'm sayin. 

2 comments:

KingJ said...

All true comments but you're not the first to shine a light on the topic. Woman say that they're smarter than men but I beg to differ if one allows themselves to be manipulated as this have accord for decades. The message that I got from this passive is universal ; know your worth and know what you want out of life and the identification of the opposite will be shown quite easily. Dr.J

Rickeysha G said...

Hol up now. Women ARE smarter than men but some of us choose to be stupid in love rather than smart and single. So, some women pretend they don't notice certain red flags or they ignore some tactics altogether because it means she won't have to go to bed alone. Thanks for reading King :)

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