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Friday, June 29, 2012

BUSTED: You Ain't Ratchet! Stop lying to Yourself.

Ratchet. That trendy word we struggle to define but we know it when we see it. A ratchet used to be a device that allows continuous linear or rotary motion in only one direction. That aint the ratchet I'm talkin about. The ratchet I'm talkin about is a noun and an adjective. Oft used to describe excessive indulgence of ghetto things, ratchet has evolved. Everybody wants to be ratchet. Ratchets live a carefree life. Who doesn't want to be young, wild and free? 

Oh, you think you're ratchet? Bet money these 21 questions prove you aint. 
1. Do you own cheetah print leggings?
2. Do you own a lace front?
3.Are you-at this very moment-wearing false eyelashes? 
4. Have you ever created a twerk team video?  
5. Do you know any low level drug dealers? 
6. Have you ever been to jail? Were you set up?
7. Do you post ass/ab shots on Instagram daily?
8. Did you buy rims for your car with your income tax refund?
9. Is government assistance part of your income?
10. Have you covered up a tat of your ex's name?
11. Do you stand in line for Jordans?
12. Have you EVER demanded for the feds to free Lil Boosie?
13. Do you put personal things on social networks then complain when people are in your business?
14. Do you claim "Ninjas aint shit" & all the good men are taken?
15. Do you sneak liquor into the club?
16. Do you have a favorite 2Chainz song?
17. If you could become a famous stripper would you do it?  
18. Do you own an article of clothing from Baby Phat, Coogi, USPA or House of Dereon?
19. Do you buy jewelry from the kiosks in the mall?  
20. Do you have a facial piercing?
21. Do you have a chest or neck tattoo?
Now its time to see which one of you is lying about being ratchet. 
If you said YES to...
1-5 Questions: You ain't ratchet. Mattafack you need to stop saying the word ratchet. You ain't even a hoodrat. You're just a person tryna scare people by makin 'em think you're ratchet. Have several seats. 
6-11 Questions: You have ratchet tendencies. You wanna be ratchet but you need to keep your job. You may talk like a ratchet or dress like a ratchet. You still need more people. Saying "Girl, I'm so ratchet" ain't enough. 
12-21 Questions: You ratchet. Everything you do is ratchet. You don't give a damn what you do or who judges you. Your own mama can't tell you nothing. You got everybody's man chasin after you. All the honeys want you. Your poon is yankin. Your pipe drives women crazy. Your weave is laid. Your eyelashes slay.Your shoe game swag makes jealous hoes envy you. 

In case you're wondering, I answered yes to 2 questions. It is possible I wrote questions I knew I would say no to because I don't wanna be ratchet (LOL!). 

Where do you rank?

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