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Tuesday, July 03, 2012

GUEST BLOGGER: Dwight Howard, C'mon Son!!!

I need to hit up Homie D Clown so he can come whack Dwight across the head with that damn sock. This is ridiculous. For unknown reasons, Dwight is writing, directing and starring in a soap opera at the expense of the Orlando Magic.  I remember when Nas tried to give reason for Jay-Z’s penchant for dissing women: “…Were you abused as a child, scared to smile, they called you ugly?”  That’s it! Dwight was abused as a child, scared to smile AND they called him ugly. We are all a witness to Dwight’s way of righting all the wrongs he dealt with as a child.  This is his moment to be the man.  Dwight has the spotlight and he is going to make damn sure every ounce of glow is squeezed out of it.

Let me step back. I want to make it crystal clear that I believe a player has every right to choose what team he will or won’t play for.  I am unequivocally opposed to the slave master/slave mentality a lot of the NBA team owners have towards their players (ex. Dan Gilbert vs. Lebron James). Here is my note to team owners: Athletes are not slaves. You do not own them. Their only obligation to you is to fulfill their contract.  You cannot dictate where players take their talents once their obligation to your franchise is fulfilled. The players are your business partners. Just as you have every right to disband the partnership and explore other opportunities at any time, the player has a right to explore other partnerships. With that said, there is still a certain amount of business etiquette that should be displayed when deciding how to handle the partnership going forward. Dwight Howard flushed every rule given to us by the business etiquette Gods down the shitter. 

What has he done exactly? Well instead of making his intentions of leaving Orlando and going to Brooklyn clear with a simple “I want to go to Brooklyn,” Dwight has been flopping like a fish out of water.  First he said he wanted to go to Brooklyn and play.  Then he tucked his nuts in his ball bag and professed his undying loyalty to Orlando by signing a free agent waiver.  I won’t even mention how he said he signed the waiver after a random run-in with a die-hard fan at an Orlando Waffle House. C’mon son! You’re making business decisions at Waffle House? In a good faith attempt to appease Dwight, Orlando followed up by firing their head coach and General Manager. Dwight is not one to let good things exist. This ninja responds to that by demanding a trade to the Brooklyn Nets and threatening to sue the Orlando Magic for blackmailing him into signing the waiver that took away his right to free agency. YES that waiver! That waiver he signed after the random meeting with the die-hard fan at Waffle House. Eh, I can’t make this stuff up. This is real life.  But at least we know Lebron is winning, because “The Decision” pales in comparison to what Dwight Howard has managed to pull off. Dwight is a fool for this one.

In the words of Ed Lover, “C’mon with this bull$hit son, you know better than this nonsense Dwight.”


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