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Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Teachable Moment: Does Love Makes You Crazy??

Chad Johnson is having the worst week ever. Everybody and their mama knows that. Last night everyone watched him lose his job, he also lost his woman AND his reputation went down the toilet all within 4 days. I hate it had to be him. It really was all good just a week ago. Anyway, I know some of you are choosing sides and y'all can have that life. I don't know those people and I wasn't there. I had to draw the line after I saw people claiming this is an example of how love makes you do crazy things. I can't get jiggy with that logic. 

People say love makes you do some crazy things. Does it? Is it really love that makes you crazy? Remember that scene in Waiting to Exhale where Angela Bassett's character set her husband's car and clothes on fire? Did y'all think love made her do that? Oh. Gather round chil'ren. Put on your learning caps. This is your chance to experience a teachable moment. Are you ready? 
Love does NOT make you crazy. Crazy people use love as an excuse to do crazy things. 
Crazy is not something you catch like the common cold. If you do something crazy, you were crazy all along. If you tell a lie, you're immediately a liar. If you do something crazy, you're immediately crazy. Simple. Some people say they're not crazy they just have a quick trigger. How nutty does that sound? You expect people to believe you go from calm to crazy after an argument over who left the toilet seat up? I'm not one to push the limits of the human psyche so I wouldn't know. Y'all know I have gone pretty far to snoop on a boyfriend and if you follow me on twitter, you know a little bit more. I just can't co-sign on this "if you get crazy over me you must love me" thing. If you think you need to get crazy to show me you love me, I don't want you in my life. 

::sigh:: I admit I've done things I never thought I would do when I thought I was in love. I am a woman and all women are crazy. Don't judge. Some women are just less crazy than others. We've all (men and women) done things we're not proud of "in the name of love." Love has blinded me from seeing the bigger picture and it was my justification for sticking around even after I felt stupid. There have been times when I allowed my anger to get the best of me. Was it love making me do that? All the previous sentences were in vain if you answer that in the affirmative. 

Love is a positive feeling. I saw a few people reacting to the headbutt saying, "Love makes you do crazy things." Love doesn't make you headbutt your wife. By the way, I'm wondering about what kind of love life y'all have if you're saying stuff like that. Nothing about domestic violence says love to me.  I've never been a victim of domestic violence but I know two women who were. I saw them get their asses beat in front of my face and I couldn't do a damn thing to stop it. They stayed for far too long and justified it with love. The first time I was a witness to domestic violence, I was frozen with helplessness and shock. What do you think happens in the 25 minutes it takes for the cops to come? I've been afraid for the women I love. I've been on high alert and stressed knowing another incident was possible. I've nursed wounds and help cover up bruises. I've wondered why she wouldn't just leave. Having gone thru that, I'll never condone domestic violence. I also can't condone people who don't think its real love unless their spouse goes crazy over them. 

Love doesn't make a jealous man beat his woman. Love didn't make you vandalize that vehicle. Love didn't make her cheat. Love didn't make you stick around after ya man gave you a black eye. Love didn't make you cry. Instead of using love as an excuse, call it for what it is. Insecurity makes a man jealous. Being out of your mind made you slash those tires. Poor decision-making made her cheat. Co-dependency and low self-esteem made you stick around after the abuse. Knowing you fell in love with someone who doesn't care about hurting you made you cry. Live in your reality. Don't blame your lack of self-control on love. You were crazy long before your spouse entered the picture. Your spouse was crazy long before you entered the picture. You just learned how to disguise it. Its ok. Some people like crazies cuz they think they're good in bed. If you did something crazy in reaction to something your spouse did that means you had psycho tendencies before your spouse made a mistake.  You were looking for a reason to let it out and when you got it, you took it. People confuse love the same way they confuse loyalty.  Sticking around when you're unhappy doesn't make you loyal, it makes you stupid. Encouraging someone to be crazy over you doesn't mean you're in love, it means you're an enabler. 

Let that marinate. 

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

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