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Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Are You THERE Yet? 8 Warning Signs of a Rebound Relationship

Rebound: To go from a breakup to a new relationship in an effort to avoid facing the pain of the breakup. 
The best way to get over your ex is to get a new boo, right? Not always. While some rebound relationships work, jumping right into a situation with a new boo is just as damaging as staying in a relationship long after you should have left. The scars left over from your past relationship are not always visible. Y'all didn't come here to hear that kinda stuff so back to my point.  

You were down on bended knee, but it didn't work. You've come to the end of the road and now it's time to face reality: You're on the rebound. 


Being vulnerable after a breakup is normal, but there is just something about a bad breakup that leaves a special kind of hole. It leaves you yearning for a companion and reminiscing about the good times. It leaves you reading old texts and listening to voicemails they left. More importantly, it leaves you with unmet "adult" needs. While most people enlist the help of a rebound guy/girl they rarely inform he/she that they're merely a seat filler. I'm here for y'all. 

Here are 8 signs you're JUST a rebound guy/girl: 
8. They're Always Discussing Their Past Relationship. If they find a way to relate current situations to their past relationship or spend time comparing you to their ex, chances are you're their rebound guy/girl. 

7. They're Still Bitter About the Breakup. If arguments in the current relationship are sparked by problems they had in a past relationship, you gotta give it up. Your partner is still living in the past & you're going to suffer for it.

6. They're Still Holding on to Keepsakes. They still have pictures on the nightstand. They still wear the jewelry their ex got them. They still have cards from holidays and birthdays. Save your feelings & get out while you can. 

5. They're Emotionally Unavailable. They want all the perks of a relationship, without the commitment. Nothing like a recent breakup to make someone uber cautious about proceeding with another relationship.

4. They Still Keep in Touch with their EX. *Waves HUGE red flag* Keeping in touch with an ex and calling them a "friend" is a dangerous situation when the breakup is still fresh. They're still talking and keeping their feelings fresh.

3. They NEED a Companion to Function. If your partner doesn't know how to wash their own laundry, manage their money, clean their living space or make a home-cooked meal then chances are they're only with you because you can do those things. Think about it. 

2. Your Relationship is a Secret. You can't post pics. You can't take pics. You can't even explain how the relationship works to your friends. Y'all aren't celebrities or public figures so why are you lurking in the shadows? *crickets*

1. They're Rushing. If they are really serious about making the relationship work, they would take it slowly. Rushing the relationship is just a sign that they don't intend for the fire to burn for very long. Any person who jumps from one serious relationship to another is not stable. 

If you're just a rebound and that's all you want to be, I'm not judging you. Live your life honey. I'm just here to help you LIVE it up and be aware. On the other hand, if you find yourself in a surprise rebound relationship, the first step is admitting you're the rebound. After that comes a cease body-part sucking and touching order. No sex. No sucking. Cut all ties and walk away.

Being a rebound is no cause to be ashamed. We're all rebounding from one thing or another. Rebounding from past relationships is a learning experience. Treat it as an opportunity to learn something new about yourself or about how you deal with other people. A bad breakup is one of those moments of adversity where your true colors will show. Every situation is meant to teach us something. Be open to receiving the lesson. I know breakups are painful, but if you approach it with the right attitude you will emerge from the ashes a better person. Instead of bringing another person into your screwed up love life, face your reality. You will never heal if you don't face the pain. 


Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

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