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Monday, September 03, 2012

Love & Hip Hop Atlanta, The Reunion Recap Part 2

Y'all already know what time it is! Even Mother Nature was sad about the end of this series. It was rainy and gloomy all day.

In case you missed part 1, peep the recap here. 
8:02pm Mona Scott-Young brings us back and we're treated to a sit down with Mimi, Stevie and Joseline. Oh joy! Mimi's clothes scream "I caught alladis on sale." I'm not judging. Mona calls their situation a love triangle. She starts off asking Stevie whether he and Joseline are officially a couple. Stevie says they're not together and Joseline admits she uses him for his money and his sex. Stevie just doesn't have that dickmatizer swag about him, but girl ok. My answer: Joseline is Stevie's almost girlfriend. Men love having almost girlfriends and convincing them almost DOES count.

Mona questions Stevie about his choice to wear that "I am God" shirt. He says he chose it because it's true. Mimi says she went to therapy because she wanted to get an understanding for the sake of their daughter. She's lying. She wanted to work it out. She's lying. She wants Stevie to come around. She's too defensive about the things people say about her for that not to be true. At every turn she's addressing her haters and people who judged her. Hold up. Something just occurred to me. Anybody wanna do math with me? Mimi keeps saying they were off & on for 15 years, no? Why does she have a  2 year old child from him?? So does that mean she was dealing with 13 yrs of BS BEFORE she thought it was ok to have a baby with him? Y'all know she thought that baby would change him right? Ya know that's why she's REALLY disappointed, dontcha? Chicks use that logic everyday, B. Everyday.
Stevie explains his bus comment saying neither Mimi nor Joseline were with him when he was struggling. FOH! Mimi says they were "in the trenches together" and she was there when he didn't have anything. Girl, the most silent of applause for you. Joseline admits she only wants him for his money. Stevie J shows us all how we can't trust a guy who justifies things starting with, "At the end of the day..."

Mimi admits her lack of a relationship with her mother made her hold on to relationships with others. Something we all knew. Chick has abandonment issues #likeamug. We're treated to unseen footage of a sit-down with Joseline, her mom and her stepdad. OMG why is her stepdad's hoop earring sooo huge? Why does he look what would happen if Mr. Clean let himself go? 

Oh Mimi is getting soooo buck on this here stage. Oh shit she's clapping. Everyone who knows black people know that means she's serious. Be scared. 

Stevie answers to his threats of sending Joseline back to the skreh cluh. He says that was early on and the threats have subsided saying, "All I wanna do is see her win." Joseline says she listens to Stevie when she wants to & it's only when it concerns her career. 

::Commercial Break::

8:18pm Oh now Scrappy, Erica and Buckeey are on stage. Another love triangle. Scrappy is sitting on the couch with Erica while Buckeey sits by herself. Must be a slap in the face for the former Flavor of Love contestant. Scrappy called Erica his "babymama" the entire season tho so they're proly even. That's relevant. Scrappy explains he and Erica have been through a lot of "stuff" together. Can I just say Buckeey looks like a fool sitting on stage? Like, her wig doesn't QUITE curl right. Her name should be "CURL AINT QUITE RIGHT BUCKEEY. Say that in a *Cedric the Entertainer voice.* Scrappy admits he's not a good judge of character when it comes to choosing love. Red flag. Buckeey gets buck and Erica tells Scrappy to check her as Buckeey yells "F*ck your bun b*tch." I can tell by the way she said it, she meant it to hurt. They scream and Buckeey's wig doesn't move. It ain't quite right I keep telling y'all. She knows how important hair is to a black woman so to insult a black woman's hair is a sign of intentional disrespect. She went for the lowblow. Playin dirty. 

::Commercial Break::

8:28pm Does anyone else feel the impulse to consume large amounts of alcohol? Or read a book? Momma Dee. Is she gonna spell? She thinks her son is a "famous rapstar." She can't spell BITCH right, but she thinks we believe her when she says her son is "famous." Naw girl. Momma says she's not on Erica's team because. She crowns Scrappy and calls him the "Prince of the South." She's so clearly delusional. I guess hit songs aren't a requirement to be a Prince of the South. Scrappy says he feels like a lil boy in school and his moms came to bring him his lunch. That crown came from Party City. She shoulda left it where she brought it from. Momma Dee says she likes Buckeey because she's A-FESH-A-NET (affectionate for the reading, nigras). 

Scrappy says he loves Erica. It suddenly becomes clear to me Buckeey  stole earrings from Shenene's wardrobe. It's only a matter of time before Shenene shows up in her fanny pack to get her jewelry back. Oh Buckeey is wearing leopard. How did I miss that? Smuts love leopard, y'all. Scrappy gives a speech about Erica always being there for him. Momma Dee has obviously forgotten about all of those moments as she dwells on the times she wasn't there. Shay reminds Scrappy that he still has stuff in her name. I knew this moment was coming. Scrappy gets down on one knee and proposes to Erica professing that he wants to "be a man" and have his family back. His proposal? "Is you gone marry a n*gga?" Gotta love a commitment amongst two ratchets. Bless them and their union. 

::Commercial Break::

8:41pm Kirk & Rasheeda along with Benzino and Karlie get their time to shine. Oh, now they're gonna spotlight what it's like to balance a career with love. These people keep calling their thingys a career. I don't get it. Why are they so confused? What career? Now I remember how much of a SUCKAMC Benzino was. Dang I expected dude to know better. Karlie says she went back to Benzino's house after she rejected his proposal and there was a naked chick there. No surprise there. Benzino explains, "You weren't supposed to be in my house that day." Well he set her straight. Karlie made a t-shirt. It's ugly. Karlie says she still has feelings for old man Zino. Zino says it's over between them. Kirk explains he and Rasheeda kept their marriage a secret because they needed to keep up her sex appeal. She's sitting there in a fake gold & rhinestone necklace that says "Bad" and I'm struggling to see the appeal. This is the first time she hasn't looked her normal pretty self. I'm disappointed in Rasheeda, right now. 

::Commercial Break::
8:51pm The entire cast is on stage. Still, Mona's wig is distracting me. Stevie responds to the haters saying they hated on God. Scrappy agrees. I hate when ratchets do this. Don't compare yourself to God. You make a rat face, sir. They do a hilarious recap of all the times Stevie made his rat face. I shed a thug tear of laughter. 

Momma Dee is asked about the kind of grandmother she must be to be dancing on a pole. She says, "Check game for me to be almost 50 years old and make money without taking off my clothes..." then my ears started hurting. Stevie admits he didn't have a car. Call me crazy, but Mona responds with "Oh you got a check now so you got a car" and I think thats shady.

::Commercial Break::
8:58pm Erica is beaming. She's happy that the man she stood by finally made an honest woman out of her. After he told everyone about the tiem he got all of his teeth knocked out and had to go thru several dental visits to get fake ones. Momma Dee embraces Erica saying, "Welcome to the palace." 
Will you be watching season 2?
Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1


sexandthesisters said...

Sounds about right, but I was further entertained by Scrappy having stuff in Buckey's name. WTF

Rickeysha said...

How can you be OK with marrying a guy who still has property in another chick's name? Is his credit THAT bad?

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