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Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Single Girl Logic: 5 ways Chicks Rate Guys on the First Date


A few days ago I met a very tall, dark and incredibly handsome gentleman. Let's call him Daniel. I've worked in men's retail so I'm oft quite critical of a man's attire, but Daniel passed my test. 
Daniel's suit (probably from Hugo Boss) was tailored with the right amount of shirt poking out of his jacket sleeve, no neckroll, a half break in his pants and his shirt had a slight spread collar. In spite of a small pimple I noticed near his chin, he was statuesque. 
He was also wearing my FAVORITE suit combo: Navy suit, pink shirt, pink & navy tie and cognac colored shoes and belt. 
He wore a mid-range Movado watch and carried a really nice briefcase, too.
We talked for a few moments and we immediately hit it off. 
He seemed confident, intelligent and was witty to boot. 
The best part was I could tell he was smitten by my humor and sarcasm. I love when that happens. 
After we felt each other out and I decided I would say yes to an invitation to go on a date...something changed. 
Daniel became too familiar too quickly. 
His shoulders dropped and he started dropping "F" bombs left and right. He asked, "Gah damn is all of this your fuckin hair?" as he reached and touched my hair. 
Hold up!
I was disgusted. 
All of his allure faded. 
I tried to hide it on my face, but I'm sure he saw it.  
My interest in him immediately died. Yes. Him touching my hair was a deal breaker. I don't care if he was a nice man. I don't care how fahn he was. I understand to some people that's not a big deal, but it is to me. Don't invade my personal space without my permission. 
When someone touches me without my permission, it is a sign of him being inconsiderate. I hear you wondering whether I made him feel comfortable enough to do that. I can't answer that. 

Fast forward. 
I love football. 
Even more than football, I love watching football with friends. I love the random conversations that only occur during commercial breaks while watching football. 
Cool story: After my exchange with Daniel, I shared what happened with some of my friends. I have to do that sometimes to make sure I'm not being too pessimistic. The girls totally related to my POV. The men thought I overreacted. Our conversation segued into a discussion of expectations on a first date. After I explained the reasons I could not see myself going out with Daniel, it became quite clear to me that men don't understand what it's like for a woman preparing to go on a first date with a random guy.

Based on that convo, I began to see how much pressure women put on ourselves before a date. 
What to wear?
Where to go?
What to say? 
When it comes to first dates, women get tunnel vision and worry about the wrong things. 
When a woman likes someone, her mind is in overdrive. 
We're on high alert for red flags.
We're picky about everything. 
We're critical of ourselves. 
We walk the line between showing up looking like we put forth some effort to look cute, without "trying too hard."




It makes sense after you read it three times. 

Crazy thing is we spend time stressing about dates with dudes who really only want to smash and run. 
But I'm chillin doe. 

While the fellas are busy checkin out our ASSets as we walk to the bathroom, we're rating some other things. Wondering what they are? Awwwwwww here it goes! 

5. How He Treats the Servers. You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat people in the service industry. Is he flirting with the server? Is he polite? Is he finding reasons not to tip? We're taking notes on how he treats the waiter AND how well (or poorly) he tips. 

4. The Location. Women like to feel like he put some effort into the date. Even if he didn't. The location is crucial for setting the tone. Did he make dinner at his place? Not a good idea. Is it a ridiculously expensive restaurant? Stupid. Is it an interactive date? Creative. Did he go with the dinner and a movie idea? Boring. A crowded bar? Horrible.  
3. His Overall Appearance. We're lookin at the basics (shoes, clothes, teeth, facial hair, etc), but we're also goin beyond that. Does he smile? Does he walk with confidence? Oh and women like a man who knows how to dress himself. We also like to upgrade men, but you gotta give us something to work with. 

2. His Attention Span. Does he pay attention to details? Did he genuinely compliment her? Is he checking his phone every 2 minutes? Is he tweeting thru it? Is he posting pics to Instagram? Is he making eye contact? Is he drinking excessively? Is he high? We look at these things to try to gauge how serious he is about finding "The One." Nevermind what he says, we like to read into his actions.

1. Conversation Topics. First dates should be all about the conversation. The convos can be awkward, but if you listen closely you will learn a lot. The key is to minimize the awkward moments and find a common ground. We're paying attention to the topics he's most comfortable discussing. Does he lead with topics about work or his money? Does he bring up marriage and kids? Does he gossip? Does he watch a lot of reality tv? Did he ask you to explain why you're single? 

Well there ya have it folks. 5 ways women rate a guy on a first date. Fellas, what's your recipe for a perfect first date? Ladies, what kinds of things do you analyze on a first date?

Talk to me... 



Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1
Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

3 comments:

Rais Akbar said...

"Did he make dinner at his place? Not a good idea."


Whaaaat?! I object.

Rickeysha said...

Rais, a first date with a stranger that involves dinner at his place could turn dangerous quite quickly. Women have to be very careful about taking that chance. If it is with a guy you already knew that isn't so bad.

Blue Dragon Enterprises said...

Well written........

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