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Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Reader Submitted Topic: The Three "Are's" of Unleashing Your Inner (Sexual) Beast

First off, this is my first post under my new "pen name" Raine Lali Gabrielle. Woo! 

One of the greatest things about the increase in my blog's traffic (thanks, btw!) is that people have started sending me random ideas for blog posts. I appreciate all of the ideas. This  post came about because of one of you. Send me questions and ideas to If it tickles my fancy, I might write about it. Won't that make you feel special? You know it will. 
The convo with The Reader went like this: 
Reader: I've got an idea for your blog. U ready?
Raine: Lemme hear it. 
Reader: So I was at a dinner party last night. 
Raine: And? 
Reader: I learned that women who have a freaky side to them are concerned about looking like hoes if they let the freak out too soon. Do women really worry about that?
Raine: Interesting. I suppose a decent woman doesn't want a guy to think she's a hoe. Even if she becomes one in the bedroom. Very interesting. 
Reader: But why would she worry about that? 
Raine: Because men don't marry hoes. They have wild sex with them and then marry the quiet women who are terrible lays.

Reader: Is that Shade?
Raine: It's an awning! lol I'm kidding. I have friends who are married & I love them. Just using extremes to make a point.
Reader: So my question is when is it an appropriate time to let a guy see your freaky side without having to worry about him think youz a hoe? *Ludacris voice*
Raine: Steve Harvey said it's 90 days. Oh wait. That's 90 days to actually have sex. 
Reader: RIGHT. How long after you have already started having sex are you supposed to wait to activate your "Super Freak?" 
Raine: Super freak=sexual beast. Ooooh so you mean like a timeline for UNLEASHING your sexual beast? I can work with that. Thanks! 

Today's question: 
Screw the 90 day rule. When you're ready to get it on how soon can you go full on BEAST without scaring them away?
In short, WHEN Should You Unleash Your Inner Beast? I decided to answer that question in two ways: 1) I'll give you a chart and 2) Examples using said chart.
Here we go.
Ta-dah! (Hint: Click on image to enlarge). Don't be judging my graphic design skills. I didn't go to school to be a graphic designer. Before we go any further, please know this AIN'T no 90 day rule. This flowchart is especially designed for those people who have ALREADY DECIDED to become intimate and are concerned about when they can enter into "beast mode." Take these recommendations with a grain of salt. 
What is An "Inner Beast?"
I don't want you all assuming what I mean by "Inner Beast" so let's start off with an explanation. A “beast” is a sexual being of the highest regard. Do not be confused and think a beast is JUST a freak. Freaks get lazy. Indeed a beast can be a freak, but a freak is not always a beast. Beasts know exactly what they want and they go after it. They are spontaneous, adventurous and they possess vast knowledge about sexual pleasure. They have the ability to pleasure their partner without restrictions. They are, in short, a consistently great lay (and usually a scorpio or gemini lol jk, but not really). 
Got it? 
There are three major questions to consider while answering today's question:
3. Are You A Woman? 
This question matters because double standards exist. STOP PRETENDING Double Standards Don't Exist! They are a BITCH to deal with, but they exist. As for men, their answer depends on whether he was friendzoned. Example: If he was previously friendzoned, he has to represent and go into beast mode straight outta the gate. He's gotta show her that it was a mistake to put him in the friendzone. If he's whack he may not get another chance. I take that back. He MIGHT get another chance. It's up to him if he wants to take that risk. Men should understand this. 
2. Are You Looking For A Relationship??
Your timeline for unleashing your inner beast is different depending on whether you're looking for a relationship, a one-night stand or a casual sex arrangement. I hope the difference between the three is obvious. 
Example: IF you are a woman who is not looking for a relationship, the first thing you should consider is whether a man has ever called you crazy. Don't tilt your head to the side and ask why, just go with it. IF you have been called crazy, the next thing is to determine what kind of arrangement the two of you will have. If it will be a one night stand, then your crazy ass should release just enough beast to pleasure your mate stopping just short of swallowing and prostate milking. If it's not gonna be a one night stand, you should "let the beast build." That is, to unleash enough of the beast to let your partner know it's there, but to keep enough tricks so you can still surprise them down the road.  You get it.
1. Are There Any Crazy Ex's in Your Present/Past? 
This question is important because every person who is a beast in bed has a crazy ex. Not just crazy, but batshit crazy. This is fact. If you don't have a crazy ex, your chances of being a beast are severely diminished. Example: If you are a woman who has never driven a man to blame his "crazy" antics on her, AND you're not sure whether you're a beast, AND a man has never called you crazy AND you haven't had great sex within the past 6 months YOU ARE NOT A BEAST. Whoa! My head is spinning!

There is but one true drawback to unleashing your inner beast: Once you release your inner beast, you have to keep it up.  Your partner will be spoiled. You can’t be a beast one time and expect to coast on that for the rest of the time you’re involved.

I am, by no means, asking or encouraging anyone to go strictly by this flowchart. I’m not here to dictate what you do. Do what works for you.

I hereby declare this a judgment free zone. I invite you to be honest with yourselves and then with me in the comments section. Speak ya mind good people. 

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1


Miss Dread said...

LOVE this article! Amazing what we women think huh?!? Lol! Still amazes me that men can openly declare their "beastiality" and still be deemed a man. However, if there is even the slightest inkling that a woman has a lil' freak in her, she just may not be worthy of being called a lady anymore....:-/ GREAT conversation piece!

Raine Lali Gabrielle said...

Thanks so much for reading! Women have to walk the lines of double standards in terms of sex, but we also get to have all the fun. 3 men can't get together and have a sleepover without it be super sussss. Nor can they share a fitting room if all the others are full, ask each other how their jeans make their butt look or walk up to a man who OWNS a room & tell him how he's WORKIN those shoes lol

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