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Monday, April 22, 2013

RATCHETLANTA BACK: Love & Hip-Hop ATL's Season 2 Premiere

Before we get started...I need y'all to know how EXCITED I am to return to blogging. I know it's a little much that I decided to return along with Love & Hip Hop Atlanta, but I'm not bothered by your judgment. I thought it fitting since LAHHATL helped me realize my blogging potential. 

I started a full-time job this past February so I haven't been particularly motivated to blog after writing and looking at computer screens for a living. All I got is a promise and a desire to do better. As soon as I can find a balance, I'll get back to keeping you all in the loop about the ratchet goings on in this world. 

I apologize in advance cuz I know this post shall be laced with cuss after cuss. Forgive me if you're offended. 

In case you don't know where we left can read my recaps from the reunion HERE and HERE. 

8:00PM As always, we start with a recap of what happened last season. We've got Buckeey, Steebie Joseline, Mimi, Rasheeda, K. Michelle's crazy ass and the others. Don't bother telling me their names. Them shits don't matter 

Bring on the gah damn show! 

8:02PM Confession: I'm not sure what to expect. I'm just ready to get to seeing some tables shaking. Wait a minute. Why are we watching Mimi shower? Was there a question about her cleanliness? Is she combating stanky puss rumors with this shower scene? I'm asking for a friend :). 

This basic bitch (yes, I called her a bitch!) Mimi starts out saying she's cleaning house and then we cut to find out she's at Stevie J's house. OMG their daughter is adorable!!!!! Mimi's really on her bullshit again this season I see. Word on the street is Stevie has a mean stroke. Dickmatization is real outchea. 

8:05PM We cut to Erica and Scrappy's house. Erica's helping Scrappy humblebrag about his designer "swag." Why is this room looking so empty? Scrappy claims he can't wear anything twice. I've heard that he keeps the boosters paid sooooooo I'm not buying all this "swag." 

8:07PM And here we go. Joseline finally gets her air time. She's in rehearsal. Stevie says they're the hottest team in the industry. Goodness Joseline has a phatty! In case you didn't know, they hand out phatty's in Atlanta at the Waffle house. Go get you one! But get in line behind me. 


8:15PM Buckeey gets her time to shine bright like aluminum foil. She's tryna understand how Scrappy played her to the left. Of course she's decided the best way to get answers is to confide in Momma Dee. Momma Dee is what folks in the hood would call "Green as f*ck!" Look it up on Urban Dictionary.

8:17PM It's K. Michelle's turn in the flashlight. She says her life is amazing because of her deal with Warner Brothers. Kudos to her. I'm still thinkin she's the same crazy she was last season. I just don't wanna hear her talk about how that man beat her ass. She also mentions somethin about having "fans." Not sure where that came from. 

8:20PM Erica and her mom are in a jewelry store. HOLY SHIT! They're getting her ring appraised. This is some disrespectful low down dirty kinda shut yo mouf. Wow! Just Wow! Now if he comes back & tells her it's worth $700 she gone be mad. Well it's worth $21, 200. Woop de damn doo. 

8:26PM Somebody done gave BenNONECKZino a late night show on v-103 in Atlanta. Still no word on whether his neck is scheduled to make an appearance. Jury is still out after he simped for Karlie Redd last season. Joseline reveals she makes about "20 stacks per week doing shows." That's $20,000. I'm clearly in the wrong career field. Joseline is 26? Damn life been rough on her. I'da put her at 31. Oops. 

8:29PM K. Michelle & Erica are having dinner. Not much to discuss here except that K. Michelle wants to throw Erica an "intimate engagement party." & now we start to set up for the first fight of the season. KC 2.0 is ALWAYS looking for drama. Y'all know that. Ariane (Mimi's friend) revealed she once opened up her HOT POCKET for one of Keyshia Cole 2.0's exes and she hadn't told her. That's a violation of the G code in KC 2.0's eyes. How in the world is she still finding ways to be hurt? Girl BYE! 

8:31PM Stevie J walked up in Joseline's apartment like he owned that hoe. Nice to see that Joseline has these wall applique flowers from Ikea in her place. She's just a regular woman like you & me. In case you couldn't tell by now, these two are still smanging. Mimi must be a terrible lay. 


8:37PM MiMi & Ariane are en route to Erica's engagement party. In the words of Katrina Laverne: "Oh is all of this over some dick?"Soooo this engagement party is a table at a lounge? I hope my friends like me enough to throw me a big hat tea. 

8:40PM MiMi explains she's living with Stevie to keep Joseline from around her daughter. Nobody is buying it, but we're not here to judge. Girl get you some gah damn sense, k? Meanwhile, Erica is tryna establish her victory with Lil Scrappy. Wonder who he's gonna put them paws on this season?

Here comes our first conflict. I hope y'all have learned to spot this kinda shit from a mile away. If you haven't, please email me because I have failed you. Ariane says she fucks with KC 2.0 & KC 2.0 says she fucks with her too. Not sure why they're yelling tho. BTW, I love Ariane. Hold up. These heffas just kissed on the lips. Wonder how much residual dic...nevermind. 


8:45PM Is it creepy that I think Momma Dee is the kind of single muva to be in love with her son? Moving on. Momma Dee showed up to make a case against Scrappy's fiance. I know that's his moms and all, but Scrappy's mama needs help. I can understand Scrappy's mindset because I get to see how the person who raised him acts. She's certified! 

Who gives a good got damn how Buckeey feels? She needs to move on. Scrappy tells his mom to respect his decision and to try to have a relationship with Erica. That's real life right there. 

8:48PM Stevie J asks MiMi whether she's happy. Guess gettin good pipe aint good enough for her these days. She says they have been spending more time together since he kicked Joseline out. Duh! Don't yaw live together? She cannot be this damned clueless! 

8:50PM Joseline walks into Stevie's house. No knock. No doorbell. No announcement of who she is. She probably still has her house key. She says to MiMi, "I see you got on your maid outfit like you always do." Holy hell! This woman has some balls. She called Mimi "Molly the Maid" ooooohhhhh myyy gawddddd I can't hardly take it. Then, MiMi INSTRUCTS Joseline to leave. No no no that's now how it works. You don't ASK someone to leave your own house. What you won't do is pop up to my house This is how I know MiMi is a lost cause: She kicked the so-called "side-chick" out, but he left with her "him." You lost, babygirl. 15 years & you still don't have a grip. 


8:56PM & we're reminded that Joseline's snatch is yankin. MiMi is surprised (whoo chile!) that Stevie left with Joseline. The censor person needs to be fired, by the way. Why is MiMi gettin SO AGGRESSIVE right now? Too late to be thuggin right now. Stevie leaves the room by saying "Clean my room Molly Maid." Consider me DONE!  

What did you think of this week's episode? Did I miss any major moments? Did y'all peep the previews from the episodes coming up? Will you be watching this season? I'm listening

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1


Natural Love said...

I dunno how I came across your blog but I love it and have tuned in for about a year. Keep it up!

Raine Lali Gabrielle said...

Thank you for reading & taking the time to comment! You are appreciated.

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